FIRST BLOG POST EVER.

I can't tell you how many people have told me I should write articles for magazines and newspapers. And honestly, that's super flattering. But, I can't quite use words like "taint" and "fuckface" in a magazine or newspaper. A friend mentioned something about starting up a blog. I said: "Oh yeah, I really should, thank you so kindly for saying that, Susan". But what I thought was: "Fuck you, Susan, blogs are only written by opinionated moms that are trying to force-feed people on the "correct" way to raise their vegan, snotty, pussy-ass children."

But, as you can see, I caved, and decided to start one anyways. So Susan, you win. My goal here is to vent, share the funny things that happen in my daily life, and to love-smack you upside the head with loving, inspirational posts. Read them or don't, I don't care.